Sunlit Sanctuary

Hi friends!

Well, it’s April. Four months into the year, many months into my time on Earth, and I have finally had it with our shitty government and the way they sicken us with everything (and I mean everything). Processed this, toxic that, bio-engineered whatever the F else. I’ve had it. My dream is to one day have a house (close to the beach, of course) with enough land to grow ALL of my own food. However, our home now doesn’t have much land, let alone even a fenced in yard, so baby steps I suppose. Nonetheless, I decided to start a mini garden on my back patio. Only one small problem: I have never gardened a day in my life and had no idea where to start. Here’s how I got started:

First: The Prep Work

When I say I know nothing about gardening, I mean nothing. Like, I didn’t even know there were different types of soil you can garden with. Isn’t dirt just dirt? Apparently not. So, the first thing I did was ask a LOT of questions to ChatGPT (yeah, yeah, AI is the end-all be-all. As if the literal pedo cannibals running the world aren’t, so touché).

I’m old fashioned and prefer to have everything on paper instead of saved on a device, so I used a notebook to write everything down: what produce would grow well this time of year in my climate, what wouldn’t, what kind of soil to buy, what supplies I’d need, where to position the soil beds outside, how often to water, how to check if things are healthy, etc. I took notes on everything and then made a final list of all of the seeds and supplies I wanted to buy. Enter phase two.

Second: The Supplies

Most of my supplies came from Home Depot, however the soil beds I bought from Amazon. They’re cool – it’s like a ladder with 5 tiers (the tiers being each soil bed). Click the link for the exact one I bought if you’re interested. (And no, it’s not going to take you to my Amazon storefront even though I did get approved for one of those. Still have no idea how it works though so you’re in the clear for now).

Anyways, once that was delivered, my fiancé put it together for me and then we headed to Home Depot. At Home Depot I got the proper soil, all of the seeds I was looking for, a watering can, and 3 different types of flowers just for visual appeal (one of which has already died and I have no idea what I did wrong but it’s fine, we’re fine).

I added some extras too – aside from the seeds to go in the actual ladder, I also bought a lemon tree, a lime tree, a blackberry plant, and a new pot for a basil plant that my mom had already given me. Everything was fairly cheap – the most expensive things were the lemon and lime trees (around $50 each). We probably spent around $200-$250 for everything total (including the Amazon soil beds). Which leads us to the next order of business: the setup.

Third: Setting Up

The non-ladder items were simple: the lemon and lime trees were already in pots and did not have to be re-potted. The basil plant was easy to repot and the blackberry root just needed to move to a pot with some more added soil. The tiered soil beds, however, is what took me a while. Just make a mental note: however long you think it’s going to take you to shovel enough little scoops of soil to fill 5 whole soil beds, double it. And no, I couldn’t just pick up the bag of soil and shake it out – for one, it comes clumpy and in order to plant things properly, the clumps need to be broken up, and two, who do I look like picking up a 70 pound bag of soil? Bffr.

Once I got the soil laid, I planted the seeds. This caused me a lot more anxiety than it should probably cause a person. Apparently, if you plant the seeds too deep, they won’t sprout, but if you don’t plant them deep enough, they also won’t sprout. AND, even if you plant them perfectly, they still might not sprout!😵‍💫 I mean, come on. Make it a little more complicated why don’t ya.

Anyways, the setup is facing east, so it gets sun early in the morning and stays in the sun until mid to late afternoon. Which, according to chatGPT, is the most ideal spot.

I wrote up the mock-tiers in my notebook and, again thanks to good ole C-GPT, learned which seeds would grow best on which tiers. The setup is as follows:

• Tier 1 (the very top): Flowers for aesthetic purposes only. I planted marigolds and impatiens (and no, I had never heard of either until 24 hours before). Photo below.

• Tier 2: Jalapeños and bell peppers. I’m most excited about these I think, because I use both quite frequently. I’ve read that they can sustain severe heat as long as they’re watered properly, so thought I’d give them a try. So far, I can see the tiniest jalapeño sprout peeking out, but no bell peppers yet. Photo below.

• Tier 3: Cherry tomatoes and white onions. I’m kind of worried based on everything I’ve learned that they will crowd each other if the roots grow too much, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Both of these seeds survived so far and have sprouted! Photo below.

• Tier 4: Cilantro, parsley, chives, and green onions. I think the chives and green onions are almost the same thing but Google said they both survive well in extreme heat so what the heck🤷🏻‍♀️. I LOVE cilantro (no, I am not one of the people that claims it tastes like soap, though I am intrigued by them) so that one was a non-negotiable. So far, the cilantro and parsley are sprouting like crazy but the chives and onions are a bit slower. Photo below.

• Tier 5 (the bottom): I planted other flowers here – Zinnias – and they already died ☹️. I have no idea what I did wrong with them because the others are still alive and well (I think) but I’m thinking about trying to repot them. I also planted a few lettuce seeds in hopes that just one would sprout. I see a few tiny ones so far, though they may also have to be repotted if the roots grow too much. Photo below.

Aaaaand the last and final thing I had to figure out was maintenance.

Fourth: The Maintenance

I’m still learning about this part. From my understanding, some things should be watered every day, others shouldn’t, some things need more sun, others don’t. It’s confusing and a work in progress. I have learned, though, that the best way to tell if something needs water is to stick your finger in the soil and if it’s moist an inch or 2 down, it’s still fine but if the soil feels dry down there, then it should be watered. Of course, you should keep a nail brush handy if you use this method because it won’t do your manicure any favors.

I still kind of feel like I’m not maintaining them perfectly, but the sprouts are slowly growing so I must be doing something right, right? Pretty soon (I hope), I’ll be able to harvest the spices and produce for cooking which will save us a good chunk of money. If you told me 5 years ago, or even 1 year ago, that the highlight of my Friday night would be coming home to cook dinner and tend to my garden, I would have spit out my drink. That seems to be the way life’s going the past few weeks, though, and I’ve got no complaints!

-Madeline 🤎